Knight(mare) and Day

Hey, if you like bad puns enough that you’re reading beyond the title here, maybe you also like horrible movies.

In which case, go out and purchase “Knight and Day,” which is now out on DVD.  It might be the worst 110 minutes of film to hit cinemas this year.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, here’s the review of it I wrote this summer, which, oops, um, never ended up going anywhere:


Less than a half hour in to Knight and Day, Tom Cruise’s character is shirtless in a cornfield, bandaging his own bullet wound after drinking tequila and crash landing a plane. It’s one of the more believable scenes the movie has to offer, and, as far as realism is concerned, the pinnacle is reached far too soon. From that point on, the amount of elements that are so obviously fake—from Cruise’s cheesy tough-guy posturing to costar Cameron Diaz’s unnaturally, artificially blue contact lenses to the over-the-top effects that would be more at home in a horror spoof or a 1980s Soviet thriller than a modern summer blockbuster—just becomes a distraction.  But maybe a distraction is necessary to keep the audience from noticing that every time there’s a particularly egregious plot hole or sticky situation that needs explaining, the screenwriters cover it up by drugging a main character and skipping forward a few scenes, a dubious little piece of trickery that occurs no fewer than five times throughout the film.